I’ve decided to do a short series of freewriting exercises, which will (hopefully) force me back into the writing groove. Using the stream of consciousness method, without editing my thoughts or my typing, I will write for 3 minutes on whatever topic or word or image or idea strikes me at the time. Sometimes, I may use a flash word or phrase. I will also always post the exact document here. The exercises will do me no good if I am writing, but not making myself post. Bear with me – my mind is a scary, disorganized place.
This time, I used a flash phrase.
“a galaxy of longing.”
that’s an interesting phrase. lonely and chilling, yet surprisingly tender. have i ever felt that way? have i ever found myself wandering through a galaxy of longing?
yes.
we all have, i think. i believe that we are all longing for something, yearning for our heart’s desires. we all feel lonely from time to time, but i don’t necessarily think of longing as just being loneliness. although, longing….galaxy…..maybe this time it does mean loneliness. maybe it’s meant to incite something altogether different.
or maybe i’m just thinking too much about it. i do that – think too much. i wake up with a million different thoughts in my head, i spend nights (like tonight) awake, thinking about everything and nothing all at once. i think about the next day’s tasks, work, money, and all of the other things that probably keep millions of other people awake at night. but when i think i’m done, when i think i might actually be able to free my mind enough to allow sleep to slowly come to me, more thoughts come rushing in and i’m awake for another hour. the second wave of thoughts is darker, more morbid at times. i think of death and losing loved ones, natural disasters, pain. my heart races and i am having nightmares…but i’m awake…and it’s guaranteed that i will be awake much longer.
maybe i’m thinking too much about it, or maybe i’m just not doing it right; “a galaxy of longing.” i experience a galaxy of longing every night when i lay in bed, thinking about myself and my family and the world around us all, and i long for peace, happiness, freedom from pain and death and anger and fear…for all of us.
what about the great lovers and writers? have they felt a galaxy of longing? and if so, what was the object of their longing? what did hemingway really long for? or gwenivere? did juliet truly long for romeo, or was it something else: mere teenage rebellion?
